His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
