yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
barbara walters just said penis...
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
He has the fingertips of a God
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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