brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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