im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
