i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
