My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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