Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
