I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
