Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
