this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
