just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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