You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
