Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
