Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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