hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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