I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
there was a trapeze. enough said
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
