I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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