They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
