I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize