That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
