I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
