so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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