Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
