He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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