I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
