dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
