someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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