And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
