Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
