So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
