Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
