I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
