Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
She just used a chaser for red wine.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
