Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
