After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
