it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
