I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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