She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
