Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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