A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
We talked him into tasing himself.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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