those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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