First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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