I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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