there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
