never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize