Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
