literally had 100 drinks last night.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
