Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
