he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
