no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
