Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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