ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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