I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
