My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
