i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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