I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Randomize