I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
