I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
All I want is dick and wine.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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