someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
